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19 The cell.
Quillom: So, where's this dog of yours got to, then?
A laser beam starts cutting a hole in the wall from the
Romana: K9? That'll be him now.
Quillom: Fierce little fellow, is he?
Romana: His bark's worse than his bite.
Quillom: Well, in that case, I wouldn't fancy a chat
with him on a dark night.
Romana: Oh, his conversation is absolutely charming -
such a bon raconteur. Look - he's nearly through.
The guard opens the door, admitting Pygmalion (aka the
Master), dressed in the uniform of a high-ranking
Pygmalion: I want the girl, Romana.
The guard grabs Romana and drags her over to Pygmalion,
who takes her strongly by the wrist.
Romana: Where are you taking me?
Pygmalion: Somewhere quiet. I think you and I should
have a little talk.
Pygmalion drags Romana away, exchanging glances with
Quillom. We follow them down the corridor. We hear the
crunch as K9 breaks through the wall. Then Quillom
shouts "Come on" and the prisoners escape. The guard
rushes into the cell, but too late. He raises the
Pygmalion: Just keep walking, Romana. We're going out
the front gate.
Romana: Who are you?
20 We see the prisoners running away, led by Quillom
and K9. The stragglers are shot. The frontrunners make
it out through a breach in the fence (made by K9
earlier), but are shot. Quillom and K9 manage to get a
few streets away before being cornered. K9 and the
pursuing soldiers start firing at each other, while
Quillom tries to escape, but he is shot in the back. K9
fails to hold off his assailants and his head is shot
off. The soldiers leave them for dead.
21 The front gate. Romana and Pygmalion are leaving.
Sentry: Have a good night, Sir.
Pygmalion: Thank you, Corporal.
The sentry raises the barrier. Pygmalion and Romana
Romana: Let me guess - you're not really an Omarian
officer; you just like the uniform.
Pygmalion: It does rather suit me, doesn't it?
Romana: A girl always likes a man in uniform,
especially if he's just helped her escape.
Pygmalion: And what makes you think you've escaped?
Romana: Feminine intuition.
Pygmalion: And what else does your feminine intuition
Romana: That the Rain in Spain falls Mainly on the
Pygmalion: By George, I think she's got it.
Romana: So, where were we thinking of going, now that
you've passed yourself off as a colonel at the
Pygmalion: Well, I was thinking of going back to my
shop for a quiet chat, and maybe a drink or two, unless
you'd rather go somewhere else.
Romana: Actually, I know this sounds pathetic, but I'd
really like to find my dog. I do hope he hasn't gotten
into any mischief with that nice Mr Quillom.
Pygmalion: I see your point. We'd better be careful,
though. There are lots of soldiers about.
Romana: But you're a colonel, silly.
Pygmalion: Oh, so I am.
22 The scene of K9's last stand. A squad of men
commanded by a lieutenant is clearing up the mess,
including Quillom's body. They are loading the bodies
onto a truck, and are about to add the pieces of K9,
when Pygmalion and Romana arrive.
Pygmalion (to Romana): Leave this to me. (approaching
the lieutenant): Excuse me, lieutenant, but what are
you doing with that robotic dog?
Lieutenant: My orders are to clear up the debris, Sir.
Pygmalion: Can't you see that dog's not rubbish. It
could contain useful technology. Give it over to me at
Lieutenant: I have my orders, Sir.
Pygmalion (giving him a long, hard, hypnotic stare):
Indeed you do, lieutenant, my orders.
Lieutenant (blinking): Oh, certainly, Sir. By the way,
Sir, apparently there's one prisoner still unaccounted
for - a girl.
Pygmalion: Well, I certainly haven't seen her. (to
Romana): Have you seen her?
Romana: Can't say I have.
Pygmalion (giving K9's head to Romana, and picking up
his body): Let's be on our way back to the laboratory,
then. Come along.
23 Pygmalion Robotics. The shop used to be a terraced
house - the business premises are the downstairs front
room. At the back there is a kitchen; upstairs, a
bedroom and a sitting room. They enter by the back
door, which leads into the kitchen and set down the
bits of K9.
Romana: So this is home?
Pygmalion: In a manner of speaking. The sitting room's
upstairs. I suggest you make yourself comfortable while
I mix some drinks. Then we can talk in comfort.
Romana: Sounds good - I could really use a drink.
We follow Romana upstairs. Hung on the wall, there are
the charred remains of what was clearly a beautiful
female android. The unblasted bits of its complexion
have the appearance and colour of a fresh bar of Body
Shop peach soap (a sort of shiny orangey red). On the
landing, there is a grandfather clock. Our attention is
not specifically drawn to these objects, but they are
nonetheless conspicuous. Romana enters the sitting
room, whose door is open, and sits down on the sofa.
24 Pygmalion enters with a drink in each hand. He
gives Romana a small but ornate purple goblet
containing a pink liquid which is giving off a lot of
vapour. He has a straight half-pint glass with some
nasty green stuff in it, and silly cocktailly
Pygmalion: Is Argolian Jacynthus acceptable? It's my
Romana: Just what the doctor ordered. How did you
Pygmalion: You looked the type. A toast?
Romana (raising the goblet): To Gallifrey.
Pygmalion (touching glasses): Not if I can help it.
Romana: E-space - such a charming little universe.
Pygmalion: I think we could even get away with calling
Romana: The perfect place for two exiled Time Lords to
go to ground. Mmm, this is wonderful.
Pygmalion: I won't ask if you don't either.
Romana: I wouldn't answer if you did.
Pygmalion: And I really would prefer if you didn't ask
how I know you when you don't know me.
Romana: What would you prefer me to ask?
Pygmalion: Let's just concentrate on the task in
hand. Helox. The Omarians.
Romana: I think there's more going on here than just
an attempt to hijack passing time machines. Otherwise
why would you ask me to come here? Where did the
Omarians get a Time Scanner, by the way? It's not the
sort of thing you generally pick up at the village
Pygmalion: You're right. There is more going on here
than a bunch of incompetents fiddling with a device
beyond their comprehension. No, Helox, Helox the
insignificant, Helox the backwater, this planet Helox
guards the only known piece of possibly the most potent
material any universe has ever known. Heloxite - that
is what the Omarians seek; and you and I are all that
stands in their way. You and I, Romana; it falls to us
to do it. There is no-one else.
25 Senior Intelligence Officer Trettan's Office,
Omarian Base. Trettan is a woman in the femme fatale
mould. She is in discussion with the Commander (the one
we saw earlier) and Slyke. Neither is enjoying it much.
Trettan: Commander, Mr Slyke has just been telling me
of a number of recent and disturbing disappearances. I
was wondering if you could shed some light on the
Commander: Disappearances, Ma'am? Which do you mean?
Trettan: Spoilt for choice, eh? Well, let's start with
the Heloxite. That disappeared from the City Museum,
didn't it? You'd have thought it might have been better
Commander: I can't work miracles, Ma'am. The Heloxite
was stolen from the Museum just before we landed in
force. Only the intelligence detachments were in
place. Mr Slyke was here, for instance.
Trettan: Yes, Slyke, tell me about the Heloxite.
Slyke: Well, Ma'am, the last known position of the
Heloxite was, as you know, in the Museum. The men who
were guarding it remember nothing.
Trettan: I'm not asking you to tell me things I
already know, Slyke. Your job is to make sure I already
know everything everyone else tells me - like what does
the Heloxite look like? what exactly does it do? who
took it? why haven't we found it yet?
Slyke: The Heloxite, Ma'am, is currently in the form
of a drinking goblet. It was on display in the Museum
with the other relics of the Ancient Royal House of
Helox. Its properties have not been established fully,
although all sources would seem to concur that Heloxite
absorbs any nearby high energy radiation, rendering
atomic and laser weapons redundant.
Trettan: And no advanced weapons technology means
little advanced technology of any sort. Right, Slyke?
Slyke: Indeed so, Ma'am, despite the fact that the
Heloxians have long since forgotten how to deploy
Heloxite militarily. That's why the army met no
resistance of substance when they finally arrived here,
two days later than planned.
Commander: We arrived in the Helox system exactly on
schedule, Mr Slyke.
Slyke: Yes, you certainly did. Then you loafed about,
orbiting Helox Delta, broadcasting your imminent
arrival to anyone with a telescope and a brain. Is it
any wonder, then, that the Heloxite was stolen? And
your house-to-house search didn't exactly turn up
anything of consequence, did it?
Commander: I'm sure, Mr Slyke, that given useful
intelligence, we will recover the Heloxite. As for the
delay at Helox Delta, that was not of my making. I
received new orders from High Command to hold off until
a special mission to Nostos had been completed.
Slyke: So the rug was pulled from under my operation
by some bureaucratic fool's sightseeing trip to an
uninhabited planet of no consequence?
Trettan: Be careful who you call a bureaucratic fool,
Slyke. It was my decision to make a raid on Nostos,
which, as it happens, was inhabited. It was inhabited
by a robot and a Time Scanner - which reminds me,
Commander, we were talking about disappearances. A time
capsule appeared and then disappeared. Coincidentally,
the two men in Time Scanner Control died a very curious
death, and the Incredible Shrinking Man, if it was a
man, disappeared also. Have you any progress to report?
Commander: The investigation of both events is
proceeding, Ma'am, although we've had very few
leads. The man who was on guard outside the tower
Trettan: How unfortunate. I do hope you find them. I
would so much like to meet whoever shrank those men -
it is a talent of which I am envious.
26 The kitchen, Pygmalion Robotics. It is now just
light outside. Romana is wearing a silk dressing gown
and her hair is wrapped in a towel. She is frying two
eggs in a frying pan.
Romana (calling to Pygmalion in the shop): How's K9?
Pygmalion (dressed in his usual black, appearing from
the shop carrying a strange-looking tool): Better than
ever, or he will be when he's recharged. How's
Romana: Just coming. Tell me something.
Romana: What exactly does Heloxite do? Does it just
absorb high energy radiation?
Pygmalion: It does rather more than that, my dear. You
wouldn't expect all that energy just to vanish.
Romana: So what does it come out as?
Pygmalion: Artron energy.
Romana: You mean Heloxite works like the Eye of
Pygmalion: Yes, Rassilon's great feat of engineering,
the taming of the black hole - all that in a lump of
metal the Heloxians dug out of the ground over a
thousand years ago. Fortunately, they never discovered
all its properties, but if even a tenth of the legends
about the Great Kings of Helox are true, the Heloxite
has formidable powers.
Romana: I can see why we don't want the Omarians to
get hold of it. Quite apart from powering time
machines, I don't like the thought of Omarians running
about the universe with the mental facility that artron
energy gives. But what I don't understand is why they
haven't found it yet? They've been on Helox long
Pygmalion: Because I found it first.
Romana: And where have you hidden it?
Pygmalion (indicating the purple goblet, now in the
sink): In the washing up.
Romana: You crafty old devil.
27 Senior Intelligence Officer Trettan's Office. The
Commander knocks and enters, accompanied by Slyke and a
Trettan: There had better be a good reason why you are
interrupting me, Commander.
Slyke: Yes, what's all this about.
Commander: I believe that you, Ma'am, and you, Mr
Slyke, will be very much interested to hear what
Medical Officer Dreel has to report.
Trettan: Very well, you have my attention.
Dreel: An entire patrol of soldiers was found
unconscious in sector 17, Ma'am. They arrived in the
medical unit an hour ago. All but one of them have
Trettan: And I suppose they remember nothing?
Dreel: On the contrary, Ma'am, they remember being
attacked by a robotic dog.
Trettan: And the other man?
Dreel: I'm afraid he's dead, Ma'am. Broken
neck. Struck from behind, poor chap.
Slyke: Indeed. Where exactly did you say the patrol
was attacked, Doctor?
Dreel: Sector 17, Sir, just outside Pygmalion Robotics
in Tanner Street.
Slyke: That's where the girl was picked up - the one
Commander: Odd place, that - at least the search
detail thought so. Odd to find robots at all on this
Trettan (penny-dropping expression): Robots!
Gentlemen, I think it's time you paid this place a
28 The kitchen, Pygmalion Robotics. Romana has got
Romana: You realise they're bound to be on to us by
now. We can't stay here.
Pygmalion: Where do you suggest we go?
Romana: If it wasn't for the Time Scanner, I'd head
for the Tardis and just get out.
Pygmalion: If it wasn't for the Time Scanner, I'd have
scarpered with the Heloxite long ago. That's why you're
Romana: What difference do I make?
Pygmalion: You make all the difference - once I've
destroyed the Time Scanner, you can slip off with the
Romana: Assuming, for the moment, that you can evade
Omarian security yet again, how will I know when the
Time Scanner is out of action?
Pygmalion: I'll be using the auto-destruct facility -
I don't want to leave any trace of the technology -
there'll be a ten second delay and then - well, you'll
hear it when it happens.
Romana: You're not going to get very far in ten
Pygmalion: Oh, don't you worry about me, Romana -
people have made less plausible escapes.
We hear an unsubtle clamour as soldiers arrive by jeep
outside and batter at the front door.
Romana: Is that the patter of tiny feet?
Pygmalion: Yes - it's jolly decent of them to give me
a lift, what? I suggest you hide in the grandfather
clock and then make for your Tardis when this lot have
Romana: Right. Fine. Good luck.
Romana heads for the stairs.
Pygmalion (handing her the Tissue Compression
Eliminator): Oh, and take this - you might need it.
29 The alley round to the back of Pygmalion
Robotics. Pygmalion slips quietly out the door, which
opens inwards. There is a guard posted on the other
side of the door from that on which it opens. He stands
with his back to the wall, staring straight ahead, and
consequently fails to notice Pygmalion as he slinks
round the corner. He taps the protruding shoulder of
the guard standing with his back to the shop by the
Pygmalion (tapping shoulder): Come along, then, I
can't stand here all day.
A large number of silent guards point their guns at
him. Slyke is in charge.
Slyke: Don't worry, Pygmalion, old chum. Before too
long, you won't be able to stand at all.
30 Romana emerges from the grandfather clock with a
knowing smile. K9 is standing on the landing.
Romana: Time to go, K9.
K9: Yes, Mistress.
She picks him up and carries him downstairs to the
kitchen, where she places him on the floor, facing the
doorway. Quietly, she opens the door and hides behind
it. Then she clears her throat. The guard swings round
into the doorway and is stunned by K9. K9 glides out
the door, and Romana moves to follow, but is
interrupted by the sound of a throat being cleared
behind her. She whirls round to see Trettan, holding a
Trettan: Well, well, well. How nice to see you again, Romana.
Trettan: Order your dog to come back in here.
K9 (returning): Mistress?
Trettan blasts K9.
Trettan: Now, Romana, the Heloxite.
Romana: The Heloxite?
Trettan: The Heloxite. Where is it?
Romana: Search me.
Trettan: All in good time.
Romana: I doubt you'll find it. Pygmalion hid it.
Trettan: Your friend? How churlish of him! I rather hope
for your sake that we do find it.
31 In the interrogation room. Pygmalion is strapped
into the lie detector.
Slyke: The Heloxite. Where is it?
Pygmalion: Search me.
Slyke: I already have.
Pygmalion: I doubt you'll find it. Romana hid it.
Slyke: Where did she hide it?
Pygmalion: It would hardly have been clever of her to
tell me. Romana's very clever.
Slyke: I think you're lying.
Pygmalion: I think your lie detector is entirely
Slyke: We're wasting time... Soldier!
A very large soldier clobbers Pygmalion a few times.
Slyke: So, have you seen reason?
Pygmalion: Not recently.
Slyke: Why shouldn't I just have you killed?
Pygmalion: Because I know where the Heloxite is?
Slyke: So you do know where the Heloxite is.
Pygmalion: No, but you won't have me killed because
you think I'm lying. I've always been such an
unconvincing teller of the truth.
Slyke (into a telephone): Get Dreel up here with the
lysanin - he's being awkward.
Pygmalion: So you have decided to kill me.
Slyke: I doubt it will kill you before you've told me
what I want to know.
Pymalion: Lysanin may cure my reticence, but not my
We hear people approaching.
Slyke: We can but wait and see. It won't take long
Enter Trettan with Romana and a squad of
soldiers. Dreel is tagging behind.
Slyke: Good morning, ma'am. Dr Dreel was about to
apply the lysanin.
Trettan: There's no reason for such crudeness, Slyke.
Pygmalion: I quite agree, ma'am. Honestly, Slyke, I
Trettan: Of Slyke, Pygmalion? You're a fool.
Romana: Yes, Pygmalion, you're a fool.
Pygmalion: I'd be a fool to deny it.
Slyke: I may be a fool, but I think we should
concentrate on the Heloxite.
Pygmalion: I wouldn't if I were you - you never know
what it might do.
Trettan: Look, Pygmalion, it's very simple. Either you
tell us where the Heloxite is, or we kill the girl.
Pygmalion: That's the choice?
Trettan: That's the choice.
Pygmalion: Kill the girl.
On to Episode 3
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