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Get back to work , you slacker ...


First things first: This page is not under construction - it's supposed to look like this...

Let's be honest - I didn't ask you to come to this particular page, so either

  1. You got here via a hyperlink, possibly from elsewhere on my pages
  2. You wanted to see if I had a homepage
Either way, you need to shut down your browser, and go and do something a bit more productive, since you're not going to achieve anything by sitting in front of a computer screen reading this pathetic excuse for a web page, or any other page for that matter. We all know that 90 percent of web pages aren't worth reading, so give up now - this isn't one of the other 10 percent. I should know, I wrote it.

So go on - leave. Really, you don't want to read any further - IT'S NOT WORTH IT! This page is crap, and has been for years, and isn't likely to get any better, because even if you have the time to read it, I sure as heck don't have the time to maintain it. I've already given you a few other links on this page, so since you still haven't shut down your browser, go and follow one of them.

Let me get this straight - you've read through all that, seen the background colour and you're still continuing to read? You really don't have a life, do you? Oh well, if I'm not going to get rid of you I guess I should make some sort of effort to entertain you.

There are some things on my page, but unless you came here looking for something in particular you're not going to find anything of interest. There, I've told you, so don't come whining to me when you realise you've just wasted another ten minutes looking through this stuff...


"Everyone should have a page like this" - Simon Wilkinson
"Isn't that shade of pink a bit too bright for 3am?" - Nick Hall
"I'd much rather be a waster" - Ross Hamilton

Go forth to my page of useless information