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1 We can tell by the hangings on the walls that this
room belongs to a hippy - a hippy with taste, but the
odd hint of roundel betrays Gallifreyan origins. As the
camera pans round, we see a Tardis console. This is
the Tardis that Romana built when she decided to stay
behind in E-space [scanner showing space with a hint of
green?]. An elegant chaise longue comes gradually into
view, starting at the end with Romana's feet and
working round. She is posed decadently with an
elaborate cocktail (pink and giving off lots of vapour)
and she is talking to K9, who is nearby.
Romana (taking a sip): You know, K9, you're
surprisingly good at mixing cocktails - for a dog.
K9: Thanks are not necessary, Mistress.
Romana (dreamily): Argolian Jacynthus - probably the
best drink in any of the universes - how much have we
K9: That was the beginning of the last bottle,
Mistress. The Doctor brought it from Argolis in
N-space. Unfortunately, it cannot be obtained here in
Romana: I brought it, K9. It's mine - the only bottle
of Argolian Jacynthus this side of the Charged Vacuum
Emboitement. We must have a toast... shall we toast
K9: Toasting the Doctor is against my primary
programming, and in any case, he is out of range of my
Romana: Do you miss the Doctor, K9?
K9: Emotionless automata never miss. Furthermore,
Mistress, your comparative lack of recklessness places
less strain on my circuitry.
Romana: Yes, those long, mellow Tardis evenings always
did get interrupted by some ghastly calamity.
FX: At this point, an alarm bell starts ringing and a
red light on the console starts flashing.
Romana: K9, what is it?
K9: An intraspatial telegram, Mistress, with emergency
Romana: Let's see it, then - put it on the scanner.
FX: The following message appears on the screen,
character by character:
HELOX INVADED BY OMARIANS STOP HELP REQUIRED AT ONCE STOP TIME
REMEMBER NOSTOS STOP
Romana: That's very odd, don't you think, K9? I don't
know anyone called Pygmalion, although this message is
addressed to me in person. And I've certainly never
been to Nostos...
K9: Nostos is an uninhabited planet in the Helox Delta
Romana: Uninhabited? Anyway, set course for Helox - I
want to find out what all this is about.
K9: I would advise caution, Mistress. The Omarians are
Romana: You don't expect me to be put off by a few
nasty Omarians, do you?
K9: Yes, Mistress.
2 We are in something akin to an airport control
tower, within the Omarian military base in the capital
of Helox. It is nighttime. There are two uniformed
low-ranking officers sitting at a console marked 'Time
Scanner', which has a sort of radar screen thing
showing no trace, and lots of other buttons and knobs.
Officer1: I don't know why we didn't just blast this
planet - miserable little place, nothing ever happens.
Officer2: Top brass wanted this Time Scanner thing set
up as soon as possible, didn't they? Here was the
nearest practical planet.
Officer1: So we get to sit here, just on the off
chance someone happens to nip past in a Time Machine
and then this heap of junk is supposed to hijack
it. I'll believe it when I see it.
Officer2: Well, the cloak and dagger boys who nicked
it seem to think it'll work.
Officer1: I don't know. I get the feeling there's more
to it than us sitting on our backsides, waiting for a
cure for baldness.
Officer2: Like what?
Officer1: Like your precious cloak and dagger boys are
up to something, and this Time Scanner business is just
to keep us soldiers occupied.
Officer2: So, what's on this hidden agenda of yours,
Officer1: Well I don't know, do I? And anyway, she's
not called Agenda.
3 Outside the base. The camera is following the
black-trousered legs of a man stealthily approaching
the entrance. There is a pivoting barrier blocking the
entrance, manned by the occupants of a small guard
cabin at the far end as we see it. A high-sided truck
pulls up. The barrier is opened, and the shadowy man in
black slips through on the far side of the truck from
4 Time Scanner Control - a blip appears on the
radar-like thing, and the system starts beeping.
Officer1: Stone me - we've got something - you'd
better inform the commander.
Officer2 (into a phone): Commander... Time Scanner
Control here... we have a craft on screen,
Sir... righto, Sir, Security Zone A (to Officer 1):
Right then, let's land this thing, whatever it is.
5 At the base of the tower (POV man in black), there
is a guard who first appears surprised, then hostile,
then staring in terror, then in a trance. We see the
man open the door and enter the control tower - we
still cannot identify him.
6 Romana's Tardis console room - Romana is still on
the chaise longue - her glass is empty on the floor. K9
is plugged into the console.
Romana: How long until Helox, K9?
K9: Approximately 2 minutes and 14.28571 seconds,
FX: The lights dim momentarily and everything is
Romana: What's happening, K9?
K9: We appear to have encountered some remote
controlling force, Mistress - I am no longer able to
direct the Tardis.
Romana: What? But the Omarians haven't got that kind
of technology. Remote control of a Tardis is possible,
but the technique is one of Gallifrey's most closely
guarded secrets. Can you jam the signal?
K9: The signal is being rapidly modulated, Mistress,
it will take some time to establish the pattern.
Romana: Perhaps you were right, K9 - it seems that
Helox is something of a Tardis trap.
7 Security Zone A - we see an armed reception
observing the Tardis (shaped like a sentry box)
beginning to materialise.
8 Time Scanner Control
Officer2: Ten seconds to landing... five...four...
We see (from his point of view) the man in black burst
through the door of this control room, draw a squat
black weapon and fire it at the two officers. There is
a blinding flash. After this we see (still his POV) the
console, where he presses a button marked 'ABORT' as
the countdown reaches 1. We do not see the corpses.
Man in black: I'm sorry, gentlemen, but some things
are hard to give up.
9 Romana's Tardis
Romana: Hurry up, K9, we're beginning to materialise.
K9: I have the pattern, Mistress - the Tardis is free.
Romana: Land nearby, somewhere quiet... is everything
K9: Mistress, the control signal has stopped. It
ceased at precisely the moment I started the jamming
Romana: Can you tell which freed the Tardis?
K9: Insufficient data, Mistress.
10 Security Zone A - the Tardis does not complete
Commander: What's happened? Lieutenant, get me Time
Scanner Control at once - bunch of incompetent fools.
Lieutenant: Yes, Sir...
He takes a phone and attempts to contact the dead
officers. There is no response at first, and then...
Lieutenant: ... What?.. Dead?.. That's appalling ..
(to the Commander): It's Security, Sir. The two
officers in Time Scanner Control have just been found
Commander: Murdered? That's all I need. Has
Intelligence Officer Slyke been informed yet?
Lieutenant: I don't believe so, Sir.
Commander: Well, we'd better get cracking, hadn't we?
Put the guards on alert - the culprit is probably still
in this base. And let's take a look at the bodies...
Lieutenant: From the sounds of things, Sir, there
isn't much to go on.
11 Outside the base - we see the legs of the man in
black as he walks away from the gate - he's escaped in
time. He chuckles.
12 Romana's Tardis. Romana is dressed in slightly more
practical clothes. The scanner shows a yard full of
old junk, faintly reminiscent of Totter's Yard (no
Romana: OK K9, usual drill - you stay here - I'll go
and get picked up, find out what's going on, and then,
when the going gets rough, I'll give you the whistle
and you can rescue me.
K9: Yes, Mistress. Good luck.
Romana: Thank you, K9, but I hope that won't be
She leaves. We see her on the scanner slipping out of
the yard and out of view.
13 A not-especially-salubrious street with various
dodgy-looking terraced houses converted into shops, one
of which is called Pygmalion Robotics. The front is
all shut up. There is a dark, narrow alley down the
side of this shop. We see the man in black going down
this alley, but he stops and turns when he hears a
distant voice saying 'Halt'. Having established that he
is not the addressee of this order, he creeps back to
the corner of the shop to see what is going on. Romana
is being arrested by a group of soldiers.
Soldier: What're you doing out and about, Miss? Or
have you forgotten about the curfew?
Romana: I didn't know there was a curfew. It's my
first night in the city.
Soldier: I'll bet... (to the others): Put her in the
van with the rest of them.
She is bundled into the back of a van, which then
drives off. We see the man in black (from behind) shake
his head, laughing his ho ho ho laugh, and then turn
back down the alley towards us, but it's too dark for
us to see his face clearly.
14 We see the room in which the curfew-breakers are
being interrogated. One by one, they take a lie
detector test (which operates by an electrode attached
to the forehead and looks very crude). Romana is next
to be interrogated and is standing under guard. Quillom
(a male Heloxian) is the current victim. Romana is
finding it difficult to keep a straight face. The
interrogator, Slyke, is in plain clothes, and is
relaxed in the way that only someone in a position of
power can be.
Slyke: What is your name?
Quillom: My name is Quillom.
Guard: Quillom, Sir.
Slyke (to the guard): No, his name is Quillom. (to
Quillom): Sorry, Mr Quillom, do tell us what you were
doing out after curfew - I'm sure it was most
Quillom: Well, it's a bit stupid, really.
Slyke: That's alright, we won't tell anybody. Do go
Quillom: I came off my shift at about seventeen - I
work in the jam factory, checking that the lids are
screwed on properly - went down the local for a while,
and then I started walking home through the park. Nice
hot day like today and a few drinks in me, I stopped
for a rest on a park bench, watch the world go
by. Well, next thing I knew I woke up and it was
dark. I felt very silly, but there wasn't much else I
could do but try to walk home.
Slyke: Oh, don't worry, Mr Quillom, you'll have a roof
over your head tonight. Now tell me, you don't, by any
chance, know anything about nasty men with guns, or
spies, or that grubby line of business? Eh?
Quillom: What me? I couldn't get mixed up in that sort
of thing - I don't like guns.
Slyke: Neither do I, Mr Quillom, neither do I. (to
the guard): Lock him up with the others - let's have
the next one.
Quillom is led away. Romana is attached to the lie
Slyke: Now then, I don't believe I've had the
Romana: Romana, Sir.
Slyke: Your name is not important. I would, however,
be interested to hear of your nocturnal intentions.
Romana: I was hoping to find somewhere to stay. I've
only just arrived in the city.
Slyke: Well, yes, the city is a dangerous place at
night - lots of soldiers about. I'm sure we can put you
up. I mean, that's what we're here for. The Omarian
Hostel for Waifs and Strays who Come to the City
from... where was it you came from?
Romana: I came in from the country.
Slyke: Of course you did. And what persuaded you to
move. The bright lights? The night life?
Romana: I had to leave. They said... they said I was
Slyke: So, bad girl, you haven't met any bad men on
your travels, eh? No terrorists? No racketeers? No
Romana: The only people I've met are the soldiers.
Slyke: I know about them. Dear, oh dear. (to the
guard): Lock her up with the rest of the useless
rabble, for the time being. Is that the lot? Thank God.
15 We see the cell in which the curfew-breakers are
being held. There is a guard visible through the bars
in the corridor outside with his back against the wall
opposite the door. There are lots of prisoners between
the door and front of shot, where Romana is
Romana: Quillom, you may have fooled that clumsy lie
detector and that stupid little man, but you didn't
fool me with that nonsense about falling asleep in the
park. Now tell me, what's going on.
Quillom: What are you talking about? I was telling the
truth. I mean, you saw the machine.
Romana: That machine couldn't detect a loose cap in a
jam factory. It didn't spot you, and it didn't spot me;
so level with me - what's happening on this planet?
Quillom: I have nothing to say to you.
Romana (producing dog whistle): Why do you have to be
so paranoid? I can get us out of here.
Quillom: With that?
Romana: It summons my dog. Now tell me, who's this
Quillom: Well, if you put it that way, Pygmalion is
the man who taught me to lie to that machine.
Romana: And he runs the Resistance, right?
Quillom: Right. Nobody really knows him. He seems to
know what he's doing, though.
Romana: I wish I knew what he was doing. How do I get
to meet him?
Quillom: He has a robotics shop downtown, didn't you
see it? You were picked up practically outside it.
Romana: Thanks, Quillom. I shall see what he has to
tell me. Now, let's wake K9.
Romana blows the whistle.
16 Romana's Tardis. K9 reactivates.
K9: Coming, Mistress.
K9 opens the doors and trundles out, across the yard
and round the corner.
17 The cell.
Quillom: So who are you, and where did you hear of
Romana: I'm a space-traveller. I got a message from
him asking for help. More importantly, what are the
Omarians doing here?
Quillom: I wish I knew. Most of them seem to wish they
knew, too. Usually they just destroy planets that
aren't of material or strategic use.
Romana: And they don't need any more jam?
Quillom: No, they don't. But I don't see how holding
Helox puts them at any advantage in their war with the
Gardenians. We're not exactly in the busiest
constellation in the Galaxy.
Romana: Maybe they're looking for something.
Quillom: Can't think what.
Romana: Well, if they are looking for something, let's
hope we get to it first.
18 The street outside Pygmalion Robotics. K9 has
encountered a patrol of soldiers. They are curious at
Soldier1: What's that?
Soldier2: Oh, that. Looks like a sort of robot dog to
Soldier1: It seems to know where it's going.
Soldier2: Let's stick it in the van. I daresay the
tech-men back at base will be interested.
The soldiers move to block K9's passage. One of them
moves round behind him.
K9: Do not impede my passage.
The soldiers stay put. K9 stuns the ones in front of
him - the few shots they do get out go wide. The
soldier behind him is just passing the mouth of the
alley and is about to shoot K9 when he is felled by a
rabbit punch from behind. It's the man in black. He
moves in front of K9, and we see up to his middle,
looking from behind K9.
Man in black: Now, K9, that wasn't very clever, was
it? You wouldn't have been much good to Romana in
K9: I must find the Mistress.
Man in black: In trouble is she? Takes after the
Doctor, I see. I never knew the Doctor when he wasn't
K9: Please do not interfere. I must find the Mistress.
Man in black: Indeed you must, but you will need my
help, if you don't want to end up as scrap metal.
K9: Very well, you may accompany me. First, tell me
who you are.
Man in black: Don't you remember me, K9? (he kneels
and tickles K9, chuckling): I'm Pygmalion. I'm your
friend... (more sternly): Your Master.
On to Episode 2
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