EPCC Squash: Match Report

Slammers Too, 7th February 1997

Match Report provided by: The Gent

Score: Slammers Too 12 - EPCC 7

Team:

• Vivek -The Gent- Gore (0-3)
• Thomas -Ironman- Schreiber (0-3)
• Thomas -Why me?- Zurek (1-3)
• Gordon -Bananaman- Lang (3-0)
• Alistair -JR- Ewing (3-0) (Three - zero ... did you get that?)

Rather surprisingly, we had been winning all our matches in division 4 so far, resulting in a false sense of security. However, The Gent was convinced that Slammers Too was not going to be an easy team at all. To make things worse, Why me declared that he was not in his best shape as he had been suffering from bronchitis until Wednesday. The Captain, our great captain, who we all admire so much for his courage, had suddenly decided that he was out of form and rather than do something about it, he simply relegated himself down to number 4. So the new experimental order for the day was The Gent, Ironman, Why me, The Captain and the Bananaman. We were lucky that the Bananaman was there, because there had been some confusion regarding the final team for this match.

• The Gent kicked off with a rather lack lustre performance - although he thinks that his opponent was just a lot better. He only managed to pick his game up a little in the 3rd set, but it was too late. The result was a rout...down 0-3 in a matter of minutes.
• Strangely enough, the Ironman had to suffer a similar fate. Known usually for his resilience and great fighting spirit, this time he went down rather meekly in three straight sets to perhaps a much superior opponent.
• The gutsiest performance of the night came from Why me. Still unwell, he fought really hard. The rallies were rather long and perhaps that's what did him in. He lost the first two sets but came back strongly to win the third, only to be too exhausted to have any killer instinct left in the fourth. That was it, EPCC's first defeat of the season. Now it was just a question of `how many points?'.
• The Captain now got on the court to play at number FOUR ... and we were all looking forward to the match. But guess what, suddenly he decides to pull out and sends Bananaman in. I have seen people play down in the order before but never have I seen such a dastardly act of pulling out after getting on the court. (Some people have the theory that he pulled out because he realized that our opponents didn't have a number 5, and he just wanted Banaman to have a chance. You be the judge.) Bananaman played a wonderful game, and easily beat his opponent 3-0.
• Finally, The Captain against NOBODY. It was a tough game, but it surely provided a boost to our captain's fading morale as he overpowered his opponent 3-0.

Player of the Match Award: A tough choice - but I'll go with the Bananaman